Missing
by checkerboxed
Summary: Sometimes, when the life we lead rejects us, we must reject it. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Fushigi Yugi. Yuu Watase does. I also don't own "Missing". Evanescence does, and always will. I wish I was ingenious enough to produce words like that. All I own is my sad little plot. So there.

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oOo  
**Missing  
Checkerboxed  
**oOo

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The night was quiet, and the small water garden behind the house echoed only with the sound of running water. A lone figure stood at the base of the miniature waterfall, staring at her reflection and that of the moon. The disturbance of the waterfall caused her water self to ripple and shift. She sighed, not of boredom but of regret, and turned away.

_Please, please forgive me  
__But I won't be home again  
__Maybe someday you'll look up  
__Barely conscious you'll say to no one_

_Isn't something missing?_

Miaka's gaze scanned the garden. There was the oak bench- he had proposed there, she remembered. It had seemed like a dream then; now it only seemed like something out of the harsh reality world of her nightmares.

Her eyes fell on the tall grass that rippled in the slight breeze, the same breeze that ruffled her long black hair as she stood, silent, reminiscing. They had lain there together, hand in hand, pointing out stars and remembering together the days when they had known those same stars. She had been so happy, seeing him everyday and loving the heart that beat beneath his chest. She knew this only as a fact. Her memories could not recall the feelings to her.

She let her head turn toward the house. She had so many memories of this place that she had, until recently, been able to call home. Each room, each window, each memory was so dear to her, but she knew that she had to shed them all-- the way one sheds the rain after one has nearly drowned. They could only hurt her now.

Cold water, like a touch of reality, splashed lightly over her from the waterfall. She brushed off the tiny droplets and stepped towards the house. The night was young, and so was she. She could start a new life- although not here, in this world. No. Her own world was where she would stay and make a new set of friends and, maybe, find a man whom she could love.

Passing through the doorway, she caught a glimpse of herself in the beautiful mirror that framed the wall. The eyes that shone back at her held the barest hint of tears. She could not let herself shed them until she was far away, too far away for regret. Not now.

_You won't cry for my absence I know  
__You forgot me long ago  
__Am I that unimportant,  
__Am I so insignificant?  
__Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

She turned the corner slowly, her steps echoing down the hall. She let her eyes wander over the familiar things here- her old school uniform, his long blue headband. Everything had been so dear to her heart, so long ago.

Miaka pulled open the door to the bedroom that they would share no longer. There, on the bed, he lay, his arm slung over his stomach, his mouth slightly agape. Oh, how she had loved him. A tear threatened to escape, but she blinked it back, gazing down at her left hand. Wedding band and engagement ring glittered on her fourth finger, reminders of her torment. She slipped them off, gazing at them for one final moment, before laying them on the empty pillow next to him.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice  
__You won't try for me  
__Not now,  
__Though I'd die to know you love me  
__I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

Leaning toward him, her expression soft and uncharacteristically serene, she pressed her lips gently to his, savoring this final gift to herself. Then she straightened, running a finger down his jaw line and letting the tears fall. Turning toward the door, she whispered without looking back. "I'm sorry, Tama. There is, and was, no one else. There was only you."

_I breathe deep and cry out  
__Isn't something missing? _

She did not need to worry about him. He was strong, and he'd endure. He'd mope for months, threaten suicide maybe- he'd never pull through with it, and after that he'd meet some young beauty and run off. He'd have a better life without Miaka.

_And if I bleed I'll bleed  
__Knowing you don't care.  
__And if I sleep  
__Just to dream of you _

_I'll wake without you there._

_Isn't something missing,  
__Isn't someone missing me?_

She did not say goodbye. Goodbyes were repetitive- they were followed by other goodbyes. This was not a goodbye, or a farewell. This was forever.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice  
__You won't try for me, not now  
__Though I'd die to know you love me  
__I'm all alone  
__Isn't something missing_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Finis._

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.:Author's Ramblings:.  
Well. I found this on my computer today, because i wrote it a long time ago- like the beginning of last school year. I decided that I'd polish it up a bit, add, subtract... multiply, divide... to it and see how it came out. I rather like the result. Very angsty. Not at all like me. I must have written it in a bad mood. I hope you like it though. 

**As my science teacher told me, my happiness is directly proportional to the number of reviews I recieve.**

.:End of Author's Ramblings:.


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